Polygamy, Pop-culture, and a Plea

January 20, 2012

Benin ranks pretty low in most gender equality rankings: the Gender Inequality Index places the country at 127 out of 138 nations, the Gender Equity Index at 154 out of 157, and the Global Gender Gap Index at 128 out of 134. Even without the numbers, the reality living here is easy to see. Just on my walk this afternoon I got several commands of viens ici (come here) by young Beninese men awaiting to hit on me….not with any smooth words or even corny pick-up lines but with the demand for me to share my recently purchased Fan Milk. I of course ignored them and continued walking, grateful at least that they had provided fodder and a catalyst for this entry to progress beyond its outline stages. After all, as a foreigner, I am able to ignore the calls for my attention and the underlying defined gender roles they represent, but many of the girls (and boys as well for that matter) remain entrenched in this social framework.

The most obvious clue comes in the prevalence of polygamy throughout the country – whether in the big cities (like my Porto Novo host family) or in the smaller villages (like my next door neighbor).  It remains an accepted, almost an expected practice complete with a set of biological arguments or explanations of family planning that I find frankly a bit convoluted. And it still catches me off guard – a continuous culture shock every time Papa de SIlvan mentions his other family.

Yet, here I’m the one viewed as an oddball for not already being married and surrounded by multiple children.  Most women seem to have at least one child by the time they are twenty, and frequently that timeline starts even earlier with teenagers becoming pregnant and dropping out of school. For Zinvie, girls only comprise 45% of middle school classes, a number which decreases to between 25 and 30% in early high school and to only 14% for the final years of CEG education. Part of that discrepancy comes from those early pregnancies, but another portion stems from divergent gender roles and the cost of education. The Beninese government does provide stipends to lower the cost of schooling for younger girls, but at some point it can come down to a question of either sending a son or daughter to school. Unsurprisingly, the boys often win that competition.

After all, women remain responsible for the domestic realm of cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children – regardless of any other job or income generating activities they may also be involved with. Men, meanwhile, retain their position as head of household. At our first counterpart conference, for example, we tried to explain the American view and received disbelief at the idea of shared household leadership. And when one volunteer explained that her mom actually acts as the key decision maker, the story was met with outright laughter.

I think this is what bothered me about watching Madmen (my most recent TV obsession). It’s one thing in the states where the vignettes mark history. It’s quite another to see the reality continue to play out in the daily life of the Beninese.  And yet….it is amazing to think how far the United States has come and how far Benin has the potential to go. I interact on a daily basis with some truly wonderful and powerful women and girls. I can only hope that they have the courage to follow their dreams and make the world conform to their visions.

As such, I’m hoping to talk with the school director next week to discuss starting a girls’ club at the local school. This summer, Peace Corps Benin will also run various Camps GLOW /BLOW (Girls and Boys Leading Our World) in cities throughout the country. These week long camps bring Beninese youth together to teach  healthy lifestyles, planning, and decision making skills while also encouraging them to question preexisting gender roles.  If you want to help (and please consider it as even the smallest amount makes a difference), you can donate at https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=680-223.

After all, change happens one child at a time. Who knows? Maybe in fifty years Benin will have a version of Madmen all its own – a testament to how far the country will have come.